Pivoting

It's been over a year since I wrote my initial post, so I guess we all know how well 2024's journaling attempt went. Haha!

Unbelievably, I entirely forgot about this. Until I recently became overwhelmed and found myself increasingly impelled towards my ol' time-and-energy-sucking diversions in a vain effort to unplug from the fresh, new quasi-chaos. Vain because as we know, our problems and tasks don't miraculously disappear simply because our mind checks out. Instead, problems and tasks are just deferred. They're still waiting to be dealt with when I choose to plug back in or when the morning comes. Sometimes even bigger and more urgent. Of course, by then I also bring along with me a little fatigue or slothiness or guilt or shame, too, depending on my diversion of choice.

And boy oh boy, do I have a LOT demanding my attention! I am moving to another state this month. A state many states away. I've moved often, but it's been a while since I did a major one. The last was when I returned to the U.S. from Asia 15 years ago, and I've stayed in the same general area of the PNW ever since. I am 15 years older, about 10 years wiser, the children are adults, and my parents are enervating septuagenarians, to use a coupla fun words. The latter duo's circumstances are the driving force behind all this change, and we are moving to be close to them. Dad needs help getting Mom good care for her various afflictions that aren't going away. And he's not in great shape himself. Additional good reasons are that there's a shiny new professional challege waiting there for my husband, we will be nearer to his brother and family, and it will usher in a new era of new adventures for us in general!

I haven't required much of myself lately, and it will all require a lot more of me.

New role for my husband = new social requirements.

= (re)new(ed) insecurities.

Near to extended family = new special occasion obligations.

= new tests of patience with olders and youngers.

= new advocation responsibilities

Far from my adult kids = new sadnesses

= new anxieties

= new fears

A lot of new, which means some of the old must go. Among them, my old ways of (not) dealing with things. These are unacceptable options for me at this age and stage. At least, they should be.

I want to face these things. I don't want to hide from these things, even though I want to hide from these things.

This is a pivotal time, and I wish to navigate the pivot point while facing forward. Not looking left and right for places to hide, or peeking over my shoulder longing after days that have already been lived.

"Concentrate" (concentrare in Italian, which I study) is my 2025 Word of the Year. I like the Italian because somehow it better reminds me of its Latin origin: com and centrum, meaning to bring or come to a common center.

So to help me better keep my concentration while pivoting, I am attempting to add a daily rhythm with The Pivot Year, a daily meditations guide by Brianna Wiest. I will keep my morning readings of Jesus Calling and Daily Stoic, and The Pivot Year will have a dedicated space on my afternoon calendar, on most days at 3:03pm - the time to remind me of the day I make this year-long commitment to me! This is also around the time of day I start plotting whether I will have a more healthy or less healthy evening, so it feels smart.

I want to embrace time, not waste time. I want to do this move well. With grace and joy and contentment.