Good Grief

What's so good about grief? I remember being confused by Charlie Brown's use of the phrase* when I was kid. Then (like this blog), I forgot about that until now.

In the midst of trying to finally get the diagnosis to explain my mother's cognitive decline (the reason we made a cross-country move last year was to be nearer my parents), in one awful 4-day span in December, my dad learned he had squamous cell carcinoma, skin cancer, and my sister learned she had a brain tumor. In the end, brain cancer. Glioblastoma. Her prognosis is dreadful. Cruelly and blessedly, we celebrated her 50th birthday shortly thereafter.

Queen Elizabeth II described 1992 as her family's annus horribilis, December was our malus mensis.

I've been on a plane every month this year shuttling between my sister and dad and home, stayed lotsa nights in hotel rooms by hospitals, eaten a buncha shitty-for-me foods, drank some baleful booze here and there, not been outdoors most days, and I've cried more than I ever did in 1974-2025 combined. (I'm excluding the year I was a baby even though my parents say I was a very quiet one) Crying's not my style. Aside from traveling frequently, none of this is my style.

So obviously, I have a therapist now. Good God.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. - Prov 11:4 

"All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit...will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - Jesus  

*grammarphobia.com cites The American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms in saying this phrase is actually a euphemism for the exasperated exclamation "Good God!" to be able to be said without offending God or man. My opinion is that God's heard worse. (Notably, from me.) And, I believe that an omniscient God must know our hearts and minds regardless of our word choices expressing them. But what the hell do I know.